in memoriam

Today is the 3rd anniversary of my mother’s death. It seems therefore appropriate to dedicate this post to her and perhaps spend a few minutes thanking her for getting me to this exact moment in time – sitting in the lovely cafe of the Agung Rai Museum of Art in Ubud, Bali, enjoying an iced latte and a slice of Oreo cheesecake (judge if you must, but it seems the locals agree there’s never a wrong time for Oreos or cheesecake) at 5 in the afternoon. The only thing un-Debra like about this moment is the missing glass of Pinot Grigio. Oh, waiter!! In all seriousness, though, I really do have my mom to thank in large part for this adventure. Sitting at breakfast this morning with my scrambled eggs and vegetable nasi goreng (Indonesian fried rice) I gave serious thought to how I could best spend this special day. Nothing came to me until it dawned on me that just being here and living each moment in Bali as it comes is more than enough to celebrate my mother’s beautiful life. After spending a few minutes video chatting with Sean and the kids this morning, Sean said I looked very relaxed. I hadn’t really thought about it, but he’s right. I really feel relaxed. I am enjoying this precious time without worry or (much) frustration. And to coin a phrase my mom would use, my “patient hat” has been on the entire time. So what did I do today? I had breakfast, had a couple of spa treatments, rented a bicycle to do some light shopping in Central Ubud, stopped for coffee, took a cooking class, had a little nap, reread Eat Pray Love, ambled through the most beautiful art museum I’ve ever seen and now…you know the rest. I basically did whatever I felt like and I think I made my mother proud. She’s here with me, you know. I “invited” her to join me on this journey a long while back and I even packed a bit of her ashes in a necklace made just for that purpose. I figured that at some point the right moment would come along and I would be compelled to spread her remains in a special place. Well she ditched me all on her own while I was whitewater rafting on Day 3. For those of you fortunate enough to have known the woman, this should really come as no surprise. And so to honor her, why not just do what I want, whenever I want? For someone who so often commented on her daughter’s moxie, how exactly did she think I cultivated this trait? Anyway, thank you for all of it, mom – the moxie, the courage and the overall “zest for life.” You are my eternal hero. May you rest and play in peace.

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